Lots of people ask me how I "got into" kink. I have pet to thank for that. I got into kink the way you fall in love or fall asleep - slowly, then all at once. (Thanks, John Green.)
It started when we were dating. Once day, as we were having sex, he called me a bitch. Being the nice vanilla woman, I was confused. Did he think I was a bitch? Was I being too mean to him? Is this a symptom of an underlying problem that is just now coming to the surface!? I was really worried. But slowly, eventually, I realized that this was a new world of sex that would bring us closer than we had been with anyone else. Story time!
Of course he told me that no, there was nothing wrong with me - there was something "wrong" with him. He was really attracted to dominant women, and being dominated. Sometimes, when we were having sex, he was fantasizing about being dominated by those skinny, blonde, corsetted dominas that he liked to watch on the Internet.
He showed me some videos. I was a little scared. This is strange, I thought. Sticking a penis in a vagina is awesome, why can't he just enjoy that!? I couldn't even think about anything else during sex if I tried.
But, I indulged him. I pinched his nipples between bobby pins and twisted them. I let him call me a bitch. I watched porn with him, and tried talking dirty but sucked. I wasn't a very good or understanding girl. But he didn't want to call me his girlfriend, so why bother?
Then, we decided to "go steady." We visited an amazing shop called Nomina in Portland, ME on vacation. We looked at vibrators, collars, crops, and dildos. In the end, we just bought an anothology of short stories about dominant women. She's on Top.
I remember driving home from our vacation, him driving his car and me reading stories from the anthology aloud. I had never been attracted to the porn we watched - I mean, there had been naked women and naked men, but where's the sex!? These stories were different. They gave insight into the thoughts and feelings of the submissive and the domme. They turned me on more than any porno ever did.
He had graduated and moved to another state while I stayed on for school. The distance was tough on us. We have different love languages, and I need physical presence and re-assurance. Or gifts. For him, just talking and texting was enough. I started to feel lonely and neglected. He didn't know what to do. Then it hit me. He thought this BDSM stuff was hot. Could we try it?
I asked him to buy me three books on kink. He had to pick. In less than a week, I had Different Loving, The Sexually Dominant Woman, and The Control Book in my dorm room. I read every site I could find about being a domme. Everything. I made him order me a corset. It arrived on a Saturday, and I picked it up on the way to a lab. I opened it in the quiet bathroom, slipped it on, and sent him a picture from my phone. He though it was the most erotic thing.
We decided that he would call me Miss and I would call him slut. I ordered him to send me cards. Take out. I got quite a few presents, and that made me feel loved. He got pictures of my feet, pictures of my tits, dirty talk, and dirty cams. We were both apart, and stressed, but happy. I'm not going to say kink saved our relationship, but it really helped.
Then I got a surprise long weekend, and we decided I should come and visit him. I planned my first scene in a day. On the way out of town, I stopped at the sex store near my college campus and bought a blindfold, cheap rope, and cheap handcuffs. The guy at the desk asked me if I had been reading "Fifty Shades of Gray." I smiled and said that I hadn't read it, but wouldn't it be so much hotter if it had been the executive tied up, at the woman's mercy? The creeped out look on the cashier's face made me grin more. That was truly the first time I felt my inner dominant power. I loved it.
I stopped at the store and picked up somethings, then headed out of town. My head was spinning with my plan - would he find it hot? My stomach was doing butterflies at the thought of seeing my boyfriend again. And, of course, I was really turned on. And I was going to have six hours on the road to stew in it.
Next time I'll tell you about our first scene. It is Valentine's Day - I should really be paying more attention to pet as he putters around in his maid's outfit and cleans the apartment.
No comments:
Post a Comment